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Literature Text
Standing at the precipice that exists in my mind
Feeling it all build up
i can feel my composure
begining to crumble
as the cliff begins to fall apart
Pounding in my head
becomes a defening roar
I can feel me losing it
I can see it all falling to pieces
i can see it all shatter
i can feel all my wounds bleeding
i can hear my soul screaming......
The rocks colllapse
as my mind caves in
under the pressure
and i fall away from myself
grasping for saftey
none to be found
plumeting
i fall to the ground
9-6-04
Raven Marie Shadows
Feeling it all build up
i can feel my composure
begining to crumble
as the cliff begins to fall apart
Pounding in my head
becomes a defening roar
I can feel me losing it
I can see it all falling to pieces
i can see it all shatter
i can feel all my wounds bleeding
i can hear my soul screaming......
The rocks colllapse
as my mind caves in
under the pressure
and i fall away from myself
grasping for saftey
none to be found
plumeting
i fall to the ground
9-6-04
Raven Marie Shadows
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Um.... as the title says i think i am falling apart mentally......i will find a way to put myself together again eventually...i dunno i can feel everything building up and i can hear bits and pieces of it all crumbling and breaking....it kinda sucks but anyway enjoy this or not i don't really care i wrote it this morning in like five mins....proably not my best
the ryhme and the rythme are off but i don't care..... if you can think of a way to fix it i am open to suggestions....
the ryhme and the rythme are off but i don't care..... if you can think of a way to fix it i am open to suggestions....
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Comments27
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I liked this poem a lot it. it just goes to show when creativity hits you sometimes it just doesn't matter if you only spent five minutes on it. "The Pounding in my head" makes more sense to me than the way you have it. adding "the" might mess up your meter or whatever but to me it makes more sense if you add the. just a thought.